Putting the O in GOP

Watching the convention last night, I invented a new drinking game. It's sure to sweep the nation over the next few days. Best of all, it's the only drinking game endorsed by Alcoholics Anonymous and MADD!

I warn you, this might be challenging:

Take a good look at the Republican convention. Scan the crowd. For every brown person in the audience that you see, take a big gulp of whatever alcoholic beverage you have on hand. Don't cheat by counting Donna Brazil, Soledad O'Brien, Amy Holmes, or the rest of the melanin-rich media who have no choice but to be there.

You can give your designated driver the night off.

All jokes aside, how is it, that in a country of 300 million people, with a minority population over 100 million, you can have a "major" political party gather in an arena of 10,000 people and only be able to find less than 50 brown people in the bunch? You'd be hard pressed anywhere in this country to find such racial disparity this side of a Klan rally!

Forget the polar bear, or the spotted owl. Somebody should put the Republican party on the endangered list. Watching this dinosaur of a convention, I can't help but imagine those giant lizards 65 million years ago, lifting their old leathery heads defiantly towards the tiny pin hole in the sky. That pin hole grew into the size of a marble, then an 8-ball, then a bowling ball before revealing it's true identity as an asteroid that would smash the earth, creating a duvetyne blanket to blot out the sun and their existence. Even as the sky went permanently dark, those primitive beasts remained blissfully ignorant to their impending doom. And once the dust eventually settled, the sun rose on a new day no longer dominated by the clumsy lumbering of those cold blooded behemoths.

Enjoy your convention, GOP. Your outdated platform will soon become the fossil that future generations study in disbelief that a party claiming to represent the nation, thought they could avoid representing ALL the people, and survive.